I am in the process of starting volunteer work here in Chile, bur really I am quite ambivalent about the whole prospect of it all. The reasons are various, some are more valid than others…

One of the reasons why I don’t want to do it simply is because I don’t want to. I have always been like that. For example, in New Orleans, there are thousands of opportunities to get involved in the city and help rebuild, but I never did and probably never will.* Why am I like this? It is probably personality on one level and society on another. Personality: I am kind of selfish. Society: America encourages self-interested, atomized action politically and economically. Result: I am one lazy guy never doing what I think out to be done.

Two. I came to Chile in part to get a different outlook on life. I can say so far that I have been getting a pretty good perspective on things, sometimes painfully realizing how Americanized my perspective is on a day to day basis, it basically manifests itself in a souring towards some of the core aspects of American culture (more on this later). I thought and still think that working with those who don’t have anything (the pobres) could help me figure out what I want to understand. What is Chile like? Over two million people in Chile, which has a population of about 16 million are “poor”, living off of less than two dollars a day. That is about 1,200 pesos a day. To get some sense about the relative purchasing power of this figure, the basic metro fare costs about 380 pesos for three rides in a period of one hour. So not that much. This is in a country that the western world has held up proudly as one of the success stories of the neoliberal project. Ironic

Three. Godammit. I am sick of seeing Americans in places where there are poor people in other countries. First of all, American fiscal impediments like the Washington Consensus** have contributed to the extreme economic/social pain these people are facing. The Washington Consensus is a series of agreements made by the international fiscal giants of the world about the policies that countries need to put in place in order to recieve international loans. Two main ideas are in play here: liberalize the economy and balance of payment. When you liberalize your economy, the government has to get out and allow that invisible hand work its magic. This means that immediately there is a drop in the amount of money available in the economy, which means recession. Since the government cannot spend more than it collects in taxes (balance of payments) it has to sit on its haunches and watch its people get really pissed off.*** Thus, it kills me to see Americans with big, dumb smiles trying to help people who are affected by the foreign policy of America. Why don’t you vote instead? Second of all, it is ironic that American people want to help all the poor people everywhere else, save their own country. What is the difference between a poor person here or there? Why do you need to travel thousands of miles to give a man a blanket when there is a homeless guy on your way to work? Why do you want to study poverty in another country when there is a lot of poverty in your own? Sure it isn’t the same type of poverty, but poverty none the less. Perhaps it is an American fear to take a hard look at oneself and the way our country conducts itself. It is also ironic that I am complaining about this when all of this applies to me.

Four. I guess I won’t do anything else with my time besides fiddling with this stupid blog and twiddling my fingers. I don’t have a lot of friends, so its not like volunteer work is taking time out of my social life.

Five. I can’t help but think about the fact that all of this is egocentric. Do I want to just “experience something new” or genuinely help other people? I think the answer is pretty clear, unfortunately. But does it make it a bad thing? Besides, can you ever do anything that is genuinely altruistic?

It all comes down to a bunch of questions, me feeling crummy about being American, and me wondering what I should do.

*On a side note, that is part of the reason why I scoff at the administration’s claims that the students in each new freshman class express some huge desire to assist those in need. Probably they are more interested in getting into the best school that they an, and therefore will say any piece of altruistic bullshit to convince our admissions department that they are the type f people that the school is “looking” for.
**Nixon, Regean, and the Man are also some well-loved Americans.
***Milton Friedman is an idiot. Francis Fukuyama is an idiot. It annoys me how their ideas can affect millions of lives, and after they all fail, they can calmly publish a book or give an interview saying “Oh wait, I didn’t mean that.” or “Oh damn, forgot that variable.” And nothing happens.

Labels: chile, complaints, fears, musings